Healthy Living Books Books

Rating: - Not as helpful as I expected!
I really dislike reading self help books that are filled with case stories of people to illustrate the content of the chapter. Following a phone call from my father where he disinherited me in the blink of an eye because I would not do as he told me to do. At the age of 38, I realised that they had controlled me all my life and I had finally had enough.But with the realisation came alot of second guessing from my side (which is typical for kids who were bought up controlled) and I wanted to read a book that gave me a deeper insight into what I was going through.I was to read Toxic Parents but decided to read this book first, but was very disappointed that 2/3 of the material was simple case studies, which really annoyed me. Although I could identify with alot of case studies, I would have preferred an approach of less case studies and more subtantial insights and behavioural analysis. A very small percentage of the book was helpful.For me the book would have been helpful if the the last bit of the book had been the start of the book and the author had taken the subject matter from there. So if you are not sure if you were controlled by your parents then this book might be helpful, but for someone like me who KNEW before reading I was controlled, then reading this book was a waste of time as 2/3 of the book was more a case of waffle filling the pages. So now I'm off to read "Toxic Parents" which I have since been told is alot better read (in terms of helpfulness) than this book.

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Rating: - BRILLIANT AND SPOT ON
I could not put the book down, absolutley spot on! I wish I had read this book years ago. To be honest I read toxic parents (which is excellent) years ago but did not action, I was too afraid. After reading this book I am going to change things in my life, I do not feel afraid, it has given me more confidence, a must read for any adult who is controlled by their parents, I feel that I am not alone, I was not the only person who had controlling parents. I am in my 40's and have broken the chain with my children. I hightly recomment this book!

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Rating: - Tremendously healing & thought-provoking book!
So many self-help books are badly written, offering warmed-over rehashes of what's been said many times, or giving simplistic "Dr. Laura"-type answers to complex problems. IF YOU HAD CONTROLLING PARENTS is one of the most original, well-written, thought-provoking books I have read. This book provides the most penetrating understanding of dysfunctional family dynamics I've ever seen. I understand my controlling mother and "strong, silent" father on so many more levels than I thought possible after reading this book. The author gives many examples, exercises and questions, all of which encourage you to think for yourself -- which is particularly good after a lifetime of being told how to think.

While many self-help books help you understand a life problem but offer few tools to solve it, nearly half of this book is dedicated to offering wonderfully original ways of both healing and problem solving -- giving readers many ways to grow instead of some simple-minded pat formula.

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Rating: - Instead of resolving bitterness, the book provokes anger
I bought the book in the hopes of making peace with my past. Instead, I found myself more angry than ever about what happened to me. Reading the book made me realize just how bad I had it. About 90% of the examples given in the book were nothing compared to how my mother treated me.

Because of the book examples, I would be reminded of how my mother used to smash my head against the wall because I couldn't drink a bitter herbal medicine, how she would refuse to give me food because I didn't finish my class one semester as the top of the class, how she has never praised me or showed any affection toward me in my 30+ years of life, and how her church friends all think she is a wonderful person and mother because she is so kind and generous toward them and I am very accomplished in life both in career and my own family....

I guess if a person's parent is just average on the scale of bad parenting, this book might help. But don't expect any solution from the book because all it provides are examples of other people so you can compare and then it's up to you to choose whether to tell your parents or not. I never did.... as I am not sure it will help my situation. I think she will go to grave thinking she has done everything right in terms of parenting. By the way, my dad left us when I was five. He calls me up only when he needs money from me. Compared to my mom, I have no bitterness toward him, just apathy.

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Rating: - Good overview of issues - but buy Toxic Parents first
I would recommend this book to those that have problems from childhood or those that experience acting out behaviors like anger, controlling behaviors, etc. A better book is Toxic Parents by Susan Forward. Forward's book provides case studies and more impactful information.